Option 1. If you have private cover, oh yes we are your best friends we can fix anything in a week and even give you a glass of red wine with you prime steak for dinner "sir" in fact can we take you in right now "sir"
Option 2. No private cover, oh fuck it ain't that bad! You probably won't die soon but we will make you wait 6 months so it spreads. Also when you come for an appointment bring a packed lunch and beer and a joint! it maybe a while. See that board up there on the wall with the wait times? they can rub off 40 minutes wait and make it 2 hours and the push is out more. No worries your not going to fucking die, we just treat you like a second rate person.
Option 3. Drop Dead!
SO FUCKING nice, THEM ASSholes!